tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-125683212024-03-14T05:13:58.779-07:00The Writing On The WallArjun Venkatramanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05742494509362640981noreply@blogger.comBlogger52125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12568321.post-48035132017139702402012-07-13T03:40:00.002-07:002012-07-13T03:40:33.447-07:00<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Language for human beings is significantly more complex than code for computers...we're just programmed to enjoy thick layers of linguistic fat, wrapped around flimsy, almost non existent skeletal frameworks. Trying to strip an idea down to its bare essentials while maintaining relevant details is as much like a physical workout as writing software. </div>Arjun Venkatramanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05742494509362640981noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12568321.post-27577976618971370142012-05-27T00:32:00.001-07:002012-05-27T20:57:50.546-07:00Sickness<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
It is sickness to be obsessed with winning, it is sickness to be obsessed with using martial arts, it is sickness to be obsessed with putting forth all one has learned. It is sickness to be obsessed with offense, and it is also sickness to be obsessed with defense. It is also sickness to be obsessed with getting rid of sickness. To fix the mind obsessively on anything is considered sickness. Since all of these various sicknesses are in the mind, the thing is to tune the mind by getting rid of such afflictions.<br />
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">- </span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Yagyu Munenori</span></b></div>
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<i>The Book of Family Traditions</i></div>
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</div>Arjun Venkatramanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05742494509362640981noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12568321.post-48554291931708723782011-04-04T06:12:00.000-07:002011-04-04T06:12:06.164-07:00Really?<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><h6 class="uiStreamMessage" data-ft="{"type":"msg"}"><div class="actorName actorDescription"><span style="font-size: x-large;"><a data-hovercard="/ajax/hovercard/user.php?id=532681528" href="http://www.facebook.com/arjun.venkatraman">Arjun Venkatraman</a></span></div><span style="font-size: x-large;"><span class="messageBody">Anyone feel a tremor just now?</span></span></h6><input name="charset_test" type="hidden" value="€,´,€,´,水,Д,Є" /><input autocomplete="off" name="post_form_id" type="hidden" value="ae70b1fbf4c304a7a1a966022c63d422" /><input autocomplete="off" name="fb_dtsg" type="hidden" value="huOg4" /><input autocomplete="off" name="feedback_params" type="hidden" value="{"actor":"532681528","target_fbid":"10150156527281529","target_profile_id":"532681528","type_id":"63","source":"2","assoc_obj_id":"2231777543","source_app_id":"2231777543","extra_story_params":{"target_id":"532681528"},"content_timestamp":"","check_hash":"7f2b5a45b6c0cfbb"}" /><div class="UIImageBlock clearfix"><img alt="" class="UIImageBlock_Image UIImageBlock_ICON_Image img" src="http://photos-d.ak.fbcdn.net/photos-ak-snc1/v27562/23/2231777543/app_2_2231777543_9553.gif" /><div class="UIImageBlock_Content UIImageBlock_ICON_Content"><span class="uiStreamSource"><a href="http://www.facebook.com/arjun.venkatraman/posts/10150156527281529"><abbr class="timestamp" data-date="Mon, 04 Apr 2011 04:36:32 -0700" title="Monday, April 4, 2011 at 5:06pm">about an hour ago</abbr></a> via <a href="http://www.facebook.com/apps/application.php?id=2231777543">Twitter</a></span><span class="UIActionLinks UIActionLinks_bottom" data-ft="{"type":"action"}"> · <a href="http://twitter.com/arjunven?utm_source=fb&utm_medium=fb&utm_campaign=arjunven&utm_content=54869958609481729&ref=nf" rel="nofollow">@arjunven on Twitter</a></span></div></div><a class="actorName" data-hovercard="/ajax/hovercard/user.php?id=1330050760" href="http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1330050760">Pinaki Joddar</a> yep...<br />
<a class="actorName" data-hovercard="/ajax/hovercard/user.php?id=1059079019" href="http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1059079019">Drona Sharma</a> Is this like 'the earth moved for me' or like 'leg it-there is an earth quake'<br />
<div class="commentContent UIImageBlock_Content UIImageBlock_SMALL_Content"><a class="actorName" data-hovercard="/ajax/hovercard/user.php?id=532681528" href="http://www.facebook.com/arjun.venkatraman">Arjun Venkatraman</a> <span data-jsid="text"><div class="text_exposed_root text_exposed" id="id_4d99c109b5c6a4446840169">How would the two be distinguishable...if cross referenced agreement is the<br />
only proof of reality then unless it was a group hallucination, the twitter stream would bear out that what I speak is the absolute truth rather than perceived reali<span class="text_exposed_hide"></span><span class="text_exposed_show">ty. I have no idea why I wrote so much, but I suppose I must<br />
be feeling loquacious. :)</span></div></span></div><div class="commentContent UIImageBlock_Content UIImageBlock_SMALL_Content"><span data-jsid="text"><br />
</span></div><div class="commentContent UIImageBlock_Content UIImageBlock_SMALL_Content"><span data-jsid="text">Yep...loquacious is what I am feeling today. So if I imagined the earthquake and I imagined the twitter stream following it, shouldn't that leave everyone else around me wondering if they are a figment of my imagination?</span></div><div class="commentContent UIImageBlock_Content UIImageBlock_SMALL_Content"><span data-jsid="text">More importantly, should I be worried about being the figment of someone elses imagination, like a character in a dream, conjured up in an instant as a hacked up, steroid-ed version of a repressed childhood memory, fully programmed and ready to play my part. In this instant, how do I know that this is not the first instant of my life. After all people in dreams must have back stories too.</span></div><div class="commentContent UIImageBlock_Content UIImageBlock_SMALL_Content"><span data-jsid="text"> </span></div><div class="commentContent UIImageBlock_Content UIImageBlock_SMALL_Content"><span data-jsid="text"> How do I know that this movie didn't start five minutes ago, with me beginning a blogpost about what is really real?</span></div></div>Arjun Venkatramanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05742494509362640981noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12568321.post-45602878223126112892010-12-24T06:32:00.001-08:002010-12-24T06:32:44.656-08:00A Christmas CarolThe phone rings as I'm heading into the shower. A righteous Tam sounding kid on the other end tells my mother that my father is dead. She tells him she will call him back and turns to me. "Venky died" is all she says. Bullet time kicks in, everything slows down. <br />
Each thump in my chest reverberates metalically against my eardrums. I look at mum. She looks horrified. And sorrowful. <br />
I look at my stepfather. He is motionless. He's looking carefully at me, gauging my reaction. <br />
Mum is saying something but I cant hear her, the thumping is too loud.<br />
And then it stops.<br />
In the silence I hear my own voice, promising my father that I would stand for his dignity. I listen to myself. I look to see if I compromised on that promise. I dont see anything inconsistent. Nothing stands out like a sore thumb. Nothing needs to be washed with tears. Nothing needs to be bandaged with guilt. <br />
All that remains to be managed is the physicality of things. <br />
I call back. The righteous kid answers. I ask him how it happened. He starts giving me an explanation that doesnt answer my question. I ask him again. He gives me a longer explanation. I ask him if my father is dead or alive. He still doesnt answer my question and keeps explaining. He is trying to explain to me why he's qualified to talk to me about the morality of what I'm doing to my father. <br />
All I want are the facts. I tell him to cut the bullshit. That snaps him awake. He tells me my father is alive and asleep. I tell my mother. She takes the phone and hangs up. <br />
Later my stepfather calls and has a decent conversation with the kid and explains why its a bad idea to use melodrama when facts will do.<br />
<br />
Nothing changes, everything transforms. In one phone call, I go from uncertainty, doubt and fear of guilt, to being certain, clear and guilt free.Arjun Venkatramanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05742494509362640981noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12568321.post-91976012551322599032010-11-22T04:22:00.001-08:002010-11-22T04:22:29.256-08:00जाओ वहां न जाने कहाँ लाओ वह न जाने क्याArjun Venkatramanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05742494509362640981noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12568321.post-83548716692228888212010-11-22T04:16:00.002-08:002010-11-22T04:17:03.683-08:00Sax and ViolinsArjun Venkatramanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05742494509362640981noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12568321.post-42579338018233408492010-10-07T22:19:00.000-07:002010-10-07T22:20:31.343-07:00Thinking about women today“Tell me what a man finds sexually attractive and I will tell you his entire philosophy of life. Show me the woman he sleeps with and I will tell you his valuation of himself….. The man who is proudly certain of his own value, will want the highest type of woman he can find, the woman he admires, the strongest, the hardest to conquer – because only the possession of a heroine will give him the sense of an achievement, not the possession of a brainless slut.” ~ Ayn Rand<br /><br />Thanks Trevor!Arjun Venkatramanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05742494509362640981noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12568321.post-75888063617123074352010-09-27T12:01:00.000-07:002010-09-27T12:01:38.419-07:00FIRESALE! Everything MUST Go!<a href="http://goo.gl/photos/n574" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img src="http://lh3.ggpht.com/_TTvio4XplSA/TKDfsEwvJ1E/AAAAAAAABvQ/yV671uIRKB0/s160-c/FIRESALEEverythingMUSTGo.jpg" border="0" /></a>Arjun Venkatramanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05742494509362640981noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12568321.post-80562868575792380482010-09-13T16:20:00.000-07:002010-09-13T16:21:03.565-07:00Of Facts and Feelings"Since propositions merely express facts about the world, propositions in themselves are entirely devoid of value. The facts are just the facts. Everything else, everything about which we care, everything that might render the world meaningful, must reside elsewhere. A properly logical language, <a href="http://www.philosophypages.com/ph/witt.htm"><em></em></a>deals only with what is true. Aesthetic judgments about what is beautiful and ethical judgments about what is good cannot even be expressed within the logical language, since they transcend what can be pictured in thought.<br />They aren't facts."<br /><br /><br />My propositions serve as elucidations in the following way: anyone who understands me eventually recognizes them as nonsensical, when he has used them—as steps—to climb up beyond them. (He must, so to speak, throw away the ladder after he has climbed up it.) He must transcend these propositions, and then he will see the world aright.<br />Whereof one cannot speak, thereof one must be silent<br />—Wittgenstein, Tractatus Logico-Philosophicus<br /><br />http://www.philosophypages.com/hy/6s.htmArjun Venkatramanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05742494509362640981noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12568321.post-89969371972595297872010-08-30T22:15:00.000-07:002010-08-30T22:17:06.849-07:00<span></span><span></span><span></span>A sharp listening is like a perfumiers sense of smell. A sharp nose can pick up a hist of basil in a strong garlic soup.Arjun Venkatramanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05742494509362640981noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12568321.post-87349977849091850872010-05-12T23:04:00.000-07:002010-05-12T23:13:54.647-07:00Oops...I lied!"Don't make me a liar" is a phrase I often hear in sales. For the longest time, it made no sense to me. If you already delivered a communication, it was either truth or falsehood. How could I now make you a liar or prevent you from being one after the fact? I've obsessed over this seemingly absurd statement for months at end, before finding my empowered context for it.<br />I can now listen to that statement as a request and an opportunity for enrollment into whatever the speaker just finished creating. Irrespective of whether or not that which was created is in existence for me right now, I can receive that statement as an invitation to create it.<br />As someone committed to making a difference I see it now as a phenomenal opportunity to be of service. Ad as someone committed to mastering the game of creation, I notch it up as a score when someone validates my ability by asking me to partner with them.Arjun Venkatramanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05742494509362640981noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12568321.post-11778007923602595242010-05-01T08:53:00.000-07:002010-05-01T09:05:21.262-07:001984जब दूसरे बच्चोँ की माएँ उन्हे यह कह कर सुला रहीँ थीँ कि बेटा सो जा, वरना गब्बर आ जायेगा, तब मेरी मा मुझे कहतीँ थीँ, बेटा, Big Brother is watching... अब सोना है या नहीँ, तुम खुद सोच लो.<br />Big Brother isn't so scary after all...देखता है तो देखे...अगर Big Brother देख रहा है, तो कहीँ गुरु ग्यानी सुन भी रहा <span>होगा<br /><br />अपनी तो दोनो से ही बनती है...<br /></span>Arjun Venkatramanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05742494509362640981noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12568321.post-28123086775100547012010-02-14T22:42:00.000-08:002010-02-14T22:47:11.493-08:00जाओ वहाँ न जाने कहाँ, लाओ वह न जाने क्याTo sense and comprehend after action is not worthy of being called comprehension. To accomplish after striving is not worthy of being called accomplishment. To know after seeing is not worthy of being called knowing. These three are far from the way of sensing and response.<br />Indeed, to be able to do something before it exists, sense something before it becomes active, see something before it sprouts, are three abilities that develop interdependently. Then nothing is sensed but is comprehended, nothing is undertaken without response, nowhere does one go without benefit<br /><div style="text-align: right;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">-The Book Of Balance and Harmony</span><br /><br />जाओ वहाँ न जाने कहाँ, लाओ वह न जाने क्या<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">-</span><span style="font-weight: bold;">रूसी</span><span style="font-weight: bold;"> </span><span style="font-weight: bold;">दंतकथा</span><br /><br /></div>Arjun Venkatramanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05742494509362640981noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12568321.post-83351708483452452812010-02-14T08:12:00.000-08:002010-02-14T08:18:21.759-08:00...and not to celebrate victoryThose who assist a leader by means of the Tao do not use arms to coerce the world, for these things tend to reverse- brambles grow where an army has been, bad years follow a great war.<br />Weapons are inauspicious instruments, not the tools of the enlightened. When there is no choice but to use them, it is best to be calm and free from greed, and not to celebrate victory. Those who celebrate victory are bloodthirsty, and the bloodthirsty cannot have their way with the world.<br /><br /><div style="text-align: right; font-weight: bold;">-Tao-te Ching<br /></div>Arjun Venkatramanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05742494509362640981noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12568321.post-18833075623928645642010-02-06T21:59:00.001-08:002010-02-06T22:10:12.231-08:00I believe!!!What are the odds that I would end up having dinner with two women, both best friends of two of my ex girlfriends, they both work for the same company, are in the US working for the same client, live in the same apartment complex...and the apartment complex is across the road from my hotel, which was picked by HotWire....<br />Yep...I believe!Arjun Venkatramanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05742494509362640981noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12568321.post-85963863710080924642010-01-31T13:22:00.000-08:002010-01-31T13:28:47.627-08:00The metaphysics of Holy Cow BurgersWhat is a Holy Cow, if not a point of certainty in an infinite sea of choices?<br />Holy Cows work great for transport, they get you from point A to point B.<br />Each point location has a discrete set of Holy Cows that belong to it and are appropriate in its context<br />If a Holy Cow shows up at a point location where it is no longer relevant, it knows its about to be Burgered! And that works for the Holy Cow! Moksha!<br />This is the greatness of Holy Cows!<br />The greatness of humans is that we can point at J Random Cow and yell "Holy Cow!" and then be thrilled with wherever that gets us. Until the next cow catches our eye!Arjun Venkatramanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05742494509362640981noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12568321.post-92202057964511858062010-01-15T19:14:00.000-08:002010-01-15T20:43:38.897-08:00CTRL+ALT+DELAt the beginning of this year I was at the nadir of my existence. I woke up one morning and realized that the experience of life was that there was no one I could trust to stand for me.<br />I was working insane hours, making commitments I wasn't enrolled into out of fear and then losing power when held accountable for them and making more commitments to fix the loss of power. My only commitment in life was to look good while talking and get away with it. If I did, great! If I didn't, I'd put in more effort and make up the difference somehow.<br />Having tried every strategy I could think of to make myself more lovable, likeable and successful I realized that I suck at that kind of strategy. It does nothing for me, it leaves me untouched, unmoved and uninspired. There is a temporary experience of having "achieved" something, but having no clue how I really got there, I have no access to recreating it on a continued, sustained basis. I didn't know where to go from here. All I knew was that this life was not worth living.<br />Suicide was not an option. I wondered why it wasn't. I realized that the first thought that came to my head was that there are people counting on me. Rather, all I knew was that some people claimed they counted on me. That was it. I knew nothing else. I decided to find out if they really did, or whether they were just faffing. I wanted to know if this "being liked" business was actually worth it. Could I count on the people I was trying to be liked by so hard. Because if I couldn't then the effort was just not worth it and I should go look someplace else for a different set of people to create a fresh set of relationships with. The first people I wanted to know about were my parents. I started sharing cautiously at first and then more and more. I realized that I could actually count on them! WOW! Turn's out I'm not actually alone! That was something I made up. Knowing that my parents love me and will stand by me NO MATTER WHAT, I suddenly had the power to take on the world!<br />The next person on my list was my coach and friend, someone who gave me my first professional break. I realized I'd never had the power to hold him to account and make a request, because I'd always considered myself too small and insignificant to ask. With this newfound power, I was actually able to ask him to meet me and share. Before I met him that morning, I spent the night strategizing with my parents on what I would say. We were all worried as hell, because if he didnt take well to being held to account, I would need to move back to India. I kept thinking of ways to present things, reasons to provide and ways to manipulate, until the moment I actually met him. He said he was there as my friend and not as my boss. AHA! Here's something I can work with. The only thing I have the power to hold him to account on, is who he says he is to me.<br />And that I CAN hold him to account for, always! Ok, time to test this theory out!<br />I told him I missed that guy, the one who was able to drop being my boss and be just my friend.<br />By this time I was crying. Couldn't hold it back. But that's immaterial. This seemed to be working though. He was actually listening! I told him exactly what I was experiencing, the lack of partnership, connectedness and love. He got it! He shared what he had been dealing with that allowed that to happen and I got connected back to who he is. No more need be said. The world shifted in that moment. There's nothing like a validated theory to give you power!<br />That it! That IS it! From this moment on, I am on a rampage to validate every theory that calls me into action. <br />So far it's going great! Clearly the people in my life rock a lot more than I thought!<br />The truth of the matter is that I always knew this is the way I wanted to live, I just didn't have the balls to test it out.<br />My father asked me this week, what I wanted to have on my tombstone. I'm still exploring ideas, here's what it looks like so far:<br />"Here lies a man who actually got away with keeping his word"<br />This requires some promises:<br />1. I promise to give my word only when I'm touched, moved and inspired<br />2. I promise to play with everything I've got<br />3. I promise to stay in communication and never hold back from fear<br />4. I promise to always operate from love<br /><br />This is who I am and this is what the world can count on.<br /><br />I invite the world to brainstorm with me on this. Worst case scenario, I'll learn something!<br /><br />Bonus discovery of the week:<br />Here's what I discovered gives me power to make unreasonable requests:<br />1. Saying exactly what's so and what's not<br />2. Being willing to take the consequences of (1) NO MATTER WHAT!Arjun Venkatramanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05742494509362640981noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12568321.post-92072419323408970452010-01-13T22:21:00.000-08:002010-01-13T22:24:20.651-08:00What I learnt today:It's more fulfilling to commit from my heart and use my brains to do the job than the other way aroundArjun Venkatramanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05742494509362640981noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12568321.post-72385668907277831932010-01-13T10:44:00.000-08:002010-01-13T10:46:34.699-08:00Building TeamsI learnt something about building teams today. I cannot build a team as long as my primary commitment in life is saving my own skin. When I give that up, the whole world is my teamArjun Venkatramanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05742494509362640981noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12568321.post-1055680530211202882010-01-03T23:28:00.000-08:002010-01-03T23:30:15.428-08:00From Scribbles: The Mango Tree (Adapted from Hindi)<p class="MsoNormal">Scene 1:</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Morning. The Secretariat. A solitary sweeper, raking up the leaves and slush from last nights storm. Muttering under his breath all the while.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal">Sweeper: .... [grumbling] Bah! Storms in June! Next we'll be having snowflakes. What's the weather coming to these days? All the more trouble for me. Bloody babus. All they can do is order us little folks around. If I was the secretary.....I'd ban storms in June. That’s what I'd do!</p> <p class="MsoNormal"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal">Enter Peon from left. Very breathless.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal">Peon: Big problem! Very big problem! Stop sweeping and come with me! We have a crisis at hand. The mango tree! The mango tree has fallen over!</p> <p class="MsoNormal"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal">Sweeper: The mango tree? You don't mean the one in the middle of the compound, do you? Good God! I have to see for myself!</p> <p class="MsoNormal"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal">The both exit right.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal">Compound.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal">Peon and Sweeper run in from left. The tree is center stage. There is a man under it.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal">Peon [sorrowfully]: Just look at it. Such a beautiful mango tree. Remember Sweeper? What fantastically juicy mangoes it always had in summer. My kids used to be crazy about them. Oh my poor kids! All seven of them shall mourn the passing of the mango tree. I better break it to them gently.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal">Sweeper: Forget your kids. What am I going to tell my wife? She's called her mother over next month just for the damn mangoes off this tree. And now this accursed wind......If I was the secretary, I'd put a board outside the compound stating n big bold letters, “Wind Prohibited!” Why does my mother in law have to be a mango addict? My life is ruined!</p> <p class="MsoNormal"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal">Man Under The Tree: Help! Somebody! Please! I'm stuck under here!</p> <p class="MsoNormal"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal">Peon: Huh? Who are you? And what are you doing under the tree?</p> <p class="MsoNormal"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal">Sweeper: Why did you have to go crawling under a fallen tree? That's not very respectful of you! This is a much loved tree! </p> <p class="MsoNormal"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal">Man Under The Tree: You abysmal fools! Go get help! I'm stuck! The tree fell on me!</p> <p class="MsoNormal"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal">Sweeper: Now that’s a likely story! You expect us to believe that the tree was just standing there waiting for you to pass by and just when you were under it, it decided to topple over? Hah! What kind of idiots do you take us for?</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Man Under the Tree: Listen! I cannot take this too much longer! Can't you see? This stupid tree crashed on top of me! I think some of my ribs are broken! Please! Get a doctor! Get a crane! Get this off me!</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Peon: Wait a minute. What are you trying to imply here? That our tree is some characterless roadside tree, who has nothing better to do than crash on people? </p> <p class="MsoNormal">Sweeper: I think I know what's happened here. This guy must have done something to make the tree fall. Otherwise how could this tree just fall over like that? </p> <p class="MsoNormal">Peon: How could you do something like that? Have you no concern for trees? </p> <p class="MsoNormal">Man Under The Tree: Look! I am trying to tell you something. I need help! Please....just get some people and take this tree off me. It's too heavy to bear!</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Peon: Hmmm. We must get to the bottom of this. But first we need to do something about this guy. I'll go get the Junior Assistant to the Undersecretary! He'll know what to do! Sweeper! You stay here. Make sure this guy doesn't go anywhere! I'll be right back!</p> <p class="MsoNormal"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal">Peon runs out left.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal">Sweeper: Now you're in trouble. The Junior Assistant to the Undersecretary is coming. He'll take you properly to task. That'll teach you to go messing around mango trees.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal">Man Under The Tree: uhhhh! </p> <p class="MsoNormal"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in -30pt 0.0001pt 0.75pt; text-indent: -0.75pt;"> Peon returns with the Junior Assistant to the Undersecretary.</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in -30pt 0.0001pt 0.75pt; text-indent: -0.75pt;"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in -30pt 0.0001pt 0.75pt; text-indent: -0.75pt;"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in -30pt 0.0001pt 0.75pt; text-indent: -0.75pt;"> JAU: What's all this? Where's this fallen tree? Oh! Not this tree! My god! Where are the mangoes going to come from this year? Oh...hello. Myself Junior Assistant to the Undersecretary. Soon to be promoted to Senior Assistant.</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in -30pt 0.0001pt 0.75pt; text-indent: -0.75pt;"> The present Senior Assistant is soon to retire, you see. I should get his job considering I am next in line.....</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 1.5pt 0.0001pt 0.75pt; text-indent: -0.75pt;"> Pleased to meet you... [extends hand then realizes that the man under the tree can't shake it.] Oh sorry! I didn’t realize. Peon! Why didn’t you tell me? This man needs help!</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 1.5pt 0.0001pt 0.75pt; text-indent: -0.75pt;"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 1.5pt 0.0001pt 0.75pt; text-indent: -0.75pt;"> Man Under the Tree: Yes! Yes please! Get me out!</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 1.5pt 0.0001pt 0.75pt; text-indent: -0.75pt;"> JAU: Peon! Sweeper! Come on! Help me pull him out from under there. I am sorry sir! These uneducated bastards! Good for nothing! Just a moment we will pull you out from there. Oh come on you lazy idiots! </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 1.5pt 0.0001pt 0.75pt; text-indent: -0.75pt;"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 1.5pt 0.0001pt 0.75pt; text-indent: -0.75pt;"> All three of them try to pull the man out. It doesn't work.</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 1.5pt 0.0001pt 0.75pt; text-indent: -0.75pt;"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 1.5pt 0.0001pt 0.75pt; text-indent: -0.75pt;"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 1.5pt 0.0001pt 0.75pt; text-indent: -0.75pt;"> Man Under the Tree: I think....uh....You will need to....ugh......Cut....cut some of the tree off so......so that it becomes easier to move. </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 1.5pt 0.0001pt 0.75pt; text-indent: -0.75pt;"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 1.5pt 0.0001pt 0.75pt; text-indent: -0.75pt;"> JAU: Hmmm. Well! That seems like a good enough idea. But I'll need to consult with the Senior Assistant on whether that can be done or not? You see I'm next in line for a promotion...and I'd like to stick to the rules as far as possible.</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 1.5pt 0.0001pt 0.75pt; text-indent: -0.75pt;"> Just a moment. I shall be right back!</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 1.5pt 0.0001pt 0.75pt; text-indent: -0.75pt;"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 1.5pt 0.0001pt 0.75pt; text-indent: -0.75pt;"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 1.5pt 0.0001pt 0.75pt; text-indent: -0.75pt;"> JAU leaves from left.</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 1.5pt 0.0001pt 0.75pt; text-indent: -0.75pt;"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 1.5pt 0.0001pt 0.75pt; text-indent: -0.75pt;"> Peon: Humph! Stupid fool! Just who does he think he is? Ears only three hundred more than either of us and thinks he can call us names.</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 1.5pt 0.0001pt 0.75pt; text-indent: -0.75pt;"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 1.5pt 0.0001pt 0.75pt; text-indent: -0.75pt;"> Sweeper: Just wait till the Secretary gets in! I'm really close to him you know. He'll listen to me. I'll see how this one gets his bloody promotion. </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 1.5pt 0.0001pt 0.75pt; text-indent: -0.75pt;"> Stick by the rules indeed.</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 1.5pt 0.0001pt 0.75pt; text-indent: -0.75pt;"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 1.5pt 0.0001pt 0.75pt; text-indent: -0.75pt;"> Man Under the Tree: Please......hurry! </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 1.5pt 0.0001pt 0.75pt; text-indent: -0.75pt;"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 1.5pt 0.0001pt 0.75pt; text-indent: -0.75pt;"> Sweeper: Wait! You are in a government office. Things must be done by the rules here. How do you expect us to risk our jobs moving this tree without permission from a senior official? Are you out of your tree? Oops! Pardon the language! [Sniggers]</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 1.5pt 0.0001pt 0.75pt; text-indent: -0.75pt;"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 1.5pt 0.0001pt 0.75pt; text-indent: -0.75pt;"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 1.5pt 0.0001pt 0.75pt; text-indent: -0.75pt;"> JAU returns with a bothered man in tow.</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 1.5pt 0.0001pt 0.75pt; text-indent: -0.75pt;"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 1.5pt 0.0001pt 0.75pt; text-indent: -0.75pt;"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 1.5pt 0.0001pt 0.75pt; text-indent: -0.75pt;"> SAU: Three months from retirement and a crisis has to pop up! Oh no! This tree? There goes my retirement gift. They usually gift the outgoing employees a jar of pickle made from the mangoes of this tree. We finished off the last years stock when the Senior Clerk retired last month. I was counting on this year’s crop for mine.....</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 1.5pt 0.0001pt 0.75pt; text-indent: -0.75pt;"> Oh, good morning! How are you feeling? Can I offer you a cup of tea? </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 1.5pt 0.0001pt 0.75pt; text-indent: -0.75pt;"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 1.5pt 0.0001pt 0.75pt; text-indent: -0.75pt;"> Man Under the Tree: [sarcastically] Yes please! Two spoons of sugar and very little milk! No! I don't want tea. Just get this tree off my chest! I’m dying! Can you not see? Are you blind?</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 1.5pt 0.0001pt 0.75pt; text-indent: -0.75pt;"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 1.5pt 0.0001pt 0.75pt; text-indent: -0.75pt;"> SAU: Well there’s no need to be impolite about it! Be nice to some people and they just assume they can sit on your head! What's the world coming to?</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 1.5pt 0.0001pt 0.75pt; text-indent: -0.75pt;"> Anyway! I can't authorize the removal of the tree! This particular tree was planted by the wife of the Chairman of the Forest Department. Technically the tree belongs to them. They have the right to the wood. They'll have to come and collect it. I'll go place a call. They won't be open yet though.</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 1.5pt 0.0001pt 0.75pt; text-indent: -0.75pt;"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 1.5pt 0.0001pt 0.75pt; text-indent: -0.75pt;"> Man Under the Tree: Can't you do anything at all? Please help me! This tree is killing me!</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 1.5pt 0.0001pt 0.75pt; text-indent: -0.75pt;"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 1.5pt 0.0001pt 0.75pt; text-indent: -0.75pt;"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 1.5pt 0.0001pt 0.75pt; text-indent: -0.75pt;"> Sweeper: There he goes accusing the tree again! What's the tree doing to you? All it's doing is lying there. How could it be killing you?</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 1.5pt 0.0001pt 0.75pt; text-indent: -0.75pt;"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 1.5pt 0.0001pt 0.75pt; text-indent: -0.75pt;"> JAU: Oh be quiet! Can't you see the man's in pain. [to the SAU] Sir....since the Tree is in the Secretariat compound, I think it comes under the property of the Secretariat. That means we can move it. I think the Forest Service people sent over a circular to that effect. Gifting the tree to us or some such....</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 1.5pt 0.0001pt 0.75pt; text-indent: -0.75pt;"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 1.5pt 0.0001pt 0.75pt; text-indent: -0.75pt;"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 1.5pt 0.0001pt 0.75pt; text-indent: -0.75pt;"> SAU: Hmm..... now that you mention it..... the file is with the Undersecretary. I'll go ask her if the circular says anything about the tree belonging to us.</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 1.5pt 0.0001pt 0.75pt; text-indent: -0.75pt;"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 1.5pt 0.0001pt 0.75pt; text-indent: -0.75pt;"> He leaves from left.</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 1.5pt 0.0001pt 0.75pt; text-indent: -0.75pt;"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 1.5pt 0.0001pt 0.75pt; text-indent: -0.75pt;"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 1.5pt 0.0001pt 0.75pt; text-indent: -0.75pt;"> Man Under the Tree: Uuhhhhh! This tree is getting heavier by the second. Please help me! I'll pay you once you get it off. Just get it off.</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 1.5pt 0.0001pt 0.75pt; text-indent: -0.75pt;"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 1.5pt 0.0001pt 0.75pt; text-indent: -0.75pt;"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 1.5pt 0.0001pt 0.75pt; text-indent: -0.75pt;"> JAU: Are you trying to bribe me? Of course not! I am a man of principle! I do NOT take bribes! And do you know you could go to jail for saying that kind of thing to me? You're lucky I'm not reporting you! Humph!</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 1.5pt 0.0001pt 0.75pt; text-indent: -0.75pt;"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 1.5pt 0.0001pt 0.75pt; text-indent: -0.75pt;"> Man Under the Tree: God! Help! Someone help!</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 1.5pt 0.0001pt 0.75pt; text-indent: -0.75pt;"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 1.5pt 0.0001pt 0.75pt; text-indent: -0.75pt;"> SAU returns with the Under Secretary</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 1.5pt 0.0001pt 0.75pt; text-indent: -0.75pt;"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 1.5pt 0.0001pt 0.75pt; text-indent: -0.75pt;"> US: My favorite tree! Oh NO! </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 1.5pt 0.0001pt 0.75pt; text-indent: -0.75pt;"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 1.5pt 0.0001pt 0.75pt; text-indent: -0.75pt;"> Man Under the tree: Madam! Please! You can bemoan your tree later…..</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 1.5pt 0.0001pt 0.75pt; text-indent: -0.75pt;"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 1.5pt 0.0001pt 0.75pt; text-indent: -0.75pt;"> US: Just a minute…….I think my cell just went off…… [hunts in an oversize handbag] aaah yes!.....hello……oh hi!!! No I couldn’t go……really? Wow! Get two for me as well……I can’t believe this…..cushion covers at half price? This seriously has to be the deal of the century! Yes! Yes please! Thanks sweetie! Okay I have to go…..no... some trouble with a tree…bye then! </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 1.5pt 0.0001pt 0.75pt; text-indent: -0.75pt;"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 1.5pt 0.0001pt 0.75pt; text-indent: -0.75pt;"> Man Under the tree: if you’ve finished madam….</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 1.5pt 0.0001pt 0.75pt; text-indent: -0.75pt;"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 1.5pt 0.0001pt 0.75pt; text-indent: -0.75pt;"> US: Oh yes….the tree…hmmmm….I think I have the file. Just a moment.[Runs out]</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 1.5pt 0.0001pt 0.75pt; text-indent: -0.75pt;"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 1.5pt 0.0001pt 0.75pt; text-indent: -0.75pt;"> JAU[to SAU]: Madam is soooo brilliant no? see how she handles her social and professional life with such ease. And beautiful too…..</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 1.5pt 0.0001pt 0.75pt; text-indent: -0.75pt;"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 1.5pt 0.0001pt 0.75pt; text-indent: -0.75pt;"> SAU: Be quiet! Work with her for two years you’ll start hating her as much as I do. Always making her assistants do all her dirty work. [mimicks the US] Oh please! Would you do that? Oh how sweet! [bats his eyelids for effect].</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 1.5pt 0.0001pt 0.75pt; text-indent: -0.75pt;"> JAU: Oh come now! She couldn’t be all that bad.</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 1.5pt 0.0001pt 0.75pt; text-indent: -0.75pt;"> SAU: Oh worse! Always flirting with the secretary too. I wouldn’t be surprised if….[makes a knowing sly sort of face]</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 1.5pt 0.0001pt 0.75pt; text-indent: -0.75pt;"> JAU: You don’t say!!</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 1.5pt 0.0001pt 0.75pt; text-indent: -0.75pt;"> US comes back with a thick file</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 1.5pt 0.0001pt 0.75pt; text-indent: -0.75pt;"> US: Lets see now. Circular regarding change of tap in fifth bathroom of third floor. Circular regarding presentation of bouquet to neice of the secretary on the occaision of her eleventh marriage. Ah yes! Here we are. Circular regarding donation of mangoes from leased tree to secretariat from the forest department. Mangoes? Lease? Oh my god! Do you realize what this means? The tree wasn’t ours! Only the mangoes. The tree was on a lease! Let me see….lease of tree…..period of 8 years…..SAU! when was the tree planted?</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 1.5pt 0.0001pt 0.75pt; text-indent: -0.75pt;"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 1.5pt 0.0001pt 0.75pt; text-indent: -0.75pt;"> SAU: Yes ma’am? When? Well it would be just after my second son’s third marriage anniversary and his oldest kid is five so two and three makes five yes ma’am three years ago!</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 1.5pt 0.0001pt 0.75pt; text-indent: -0.75pt;"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 1.5pt 0.0001pt 0.75pt; text-indent: -0.75pt;"> US: Oh no! then the lease still has five years to go! The forest department isn’t going to like this! </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 1.5pt 0.0001pt 0.75pt; text-indent: -0.75pt;"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 1.5pt 0.0001pt 0.75pt; text-indent: -0.75pt;"> Man Under the tree: To hell with your forest department and its leases! Im dying under here! Help me please!</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 1.5pt 0.0001pt 0.75pt; text-indent: -0.75pt;"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 1.5pt 0.0001pt 0.75pt; text-indent: -0.75pt;"> US: Oh shut up! Can’t you see the gravity of the situation? We are in the midst of an interdepartmental crisis here and all you can think of is yourself. I must call the Secretary.</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 1.5pt 0.0001pt 0.75pt; text-indent: -0.75pt;"> [runs out]</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 1.5pt 0.0001pt 0.75pt; text-indent: -0.75pt;"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 1.5pt 0.0001pt 0.75pt; text-indent: -0.75pt;"> SAU: see! All she needs is an excuse to meet him. [Makes a disgusted face.]</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 1.5pt 0.0001pt 0.75pt; text-indent: -0.75pt;"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 1.5pt 0.0001pt 0.75pt; text-indent: -0.75pt;"> JAU: I see what you mean. I would never have thought that madam….</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 1.5pt 0.0001pt 0.75pt; text-indent: -0.75pt;"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 1.5pt 0.0001pt 0.75pt; text-indent: -0.75pt;"> US returns with Sec:</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 1.5pt 0.0001pt 0.75pt; text-indent: -0.75pt;"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 1.5pt 0.0001pt 0.75pt; text-indent: -0.75pt;"> Secretary: This is indeed a very grave situation. The forest department has always been on very good terms with us. We cannot afford to lose their respect. How could this happen? And now? In June?</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 1.5pt 0.0001pt 0.75pt; text-indent: -0.75pt;"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 1.5pt 0.0001pt 0.75pt; text-indent: -0.75pt;"> US: Sir! Perhaps we could call it an accident….</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 1.5pt 0.0001pt 0.75pt; text-indent: -0.75pt;"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 1.5pt 0.0001pt 0.75pt; text-indent: -0.75pt;"> Sec: Well we could I suppose. But then….who will explain it? And this man? Hello! Who are you exactly?[doesn’t wait for a reply] No! No! No! It will never stand up to scrutiny at the enquiry that’s sure to follow. We must think of a way to subvert this crisis. I must think……</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 1.5pt 0.0001pt 0.75pt; text-indent: -0.75pt;"> SAU: Sir, perhaps clause 18 of the subsection A of the fallen tree removal act….</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 1.5pt 0.0001pt 0.75pt; text-indent: -0.75pt;"> JAU: No! that’s not going to work, you need to prove the tree fell of its own accord, and we don’t have a witness…. I suggest article 19b of the anomalous fruit tree afflictions act. </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 1.5pt 0.0001pt 0.75pt; text-indent: -0.75pt;"> US: I still say we call it an accident!</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 1.5pt 0.0001pt 0.75pt; text-indent: -0.75pt;"> Sec:[suddenly brightens up!] I have an idea! Hey you! Do you want to get out of under there?</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 1.5pt 0.0001pt 0.75pt; text-indent: -0.75pt;"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 1.5pt 0.0001pt 0.75pt; text-indent: -0.75pt;"> Man Under the tree: More than anything else sir! Can you please ask them to cut the tree up? </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 1.5pt 0.0001pt 0.75pt; text-indent: -0.75pt;"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 1.5pt 0.0001pt 0.75pt; text-indent: -0.75pt;"> Sec: Relax friend! I am here now! [turns to the US and whispers something in her ear]</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 1.5pt 0.0001pt 0.75pt; text-indent: -0.75pt;"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 1.5pt 0.0001pt 0.75pt; text-indent: -0.75pt;"> US lights up, calls all the other aside ad a low conv ensues</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 1.5pt 0.0001pt 0.75pt; text-indent: -0.75pt;"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 1.5pt 0.0001pt 0.75pt; text-indent: -0.75pt;"> US:…confession….</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 1.5pt 0.0001pt 0.75pt; text-indent: -0.75pt;"> JAU….signature….</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 1.5pt 0.0001pt 0.75pt; text-indent: -0.75pt;"> SAU:…brilliant…</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 1.5pt 0.0001pt 0.75pt; text-indent: -0.75pt;"> Sweeper:….hmmmm…</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 1.5pt 0.0001pt 0.75pt; text-indent: -0.75pt;"> Peon:….explains everything….</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 1.5pt 0.0001pt 0.75pt; text-indent: -0.75pt;"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 1.5pt 0.0001pt 0.75pt; text-indent: -0.75pt;"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 1.5pt 0.0001pt 0.75pt; text-indent: -0.75pt;"> They all disperse and return a moment later each with one article in his/her hand: pen paper, stamp, pad, envelope.</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 1.5pt 0.0001pt 0.75pt; text-indent: -0.75pt;"> They converge in one corner and write something on the paper.</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 1.5pt 0.0001pt 0.75pt; text-indent: -0.75pt;"> The US takes the paper and hands it to the Sec.</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 1.5pt 0.0001pt 0.75pt; text-indent: -0.75pt;"> The Sec takes the paper to the Man under the tree.</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 1.5pt 0.0001pt 0.75pt; text-indent: -0.75pt;"> Sec: All you nee to do is sign this and you will be out in a jiffy!</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 1.5pt 0.0001pt 0.75pt; text-indent: -0.75pt;"> Man Under the tree: Give it here! I’ll sign anything. Anything at all! Just get me out of here![signs]</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 1.5pt 0.0001pt 0.75pt; text-indent: -0.75pt;"> Sec: Perfect! Peon! Sweeper! Get axes! Cut this tree down! We have a life to save.</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 1.5pt 0.0001pt 0.75pt; text-indent: -0.75pt;"> Sweeper and peon Walk out leisurely. </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 1.5pt 0.0001pt 0.75pt; text-indent: -0.75pt;"> Sec: SAU! JAU! Go inform the police! They must come immediately!</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 1.5pt 0.0001pt 0.75pt; text-indent: -0.75pt;"> JAU and SAU leave.</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 1.5pt 0.0001pt 0.75pt; text-indent: -0.75pt;"> Sec: Come my dear! A cup of tea is what’s needed after a day like this.</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 1.5pt 0.0001pt 0.75pt; text-indent: -0.75pt;"> Man Under the Tree: What about me! Wait! Wait! Help!!</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 1.5pt 0.0001pt 0.75pt; text-indent: -0.75pt;"> Offstage:</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 1.5pt 0.0001pt 0.75pt; text-indent: -0.75pt;"> Sweeper: I need a lunch break first! I cant do heavy work right now. Labor rights entitle me to lunch!</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 1.5pt 0.0001pt 0.75pt; text-indent: -0.75pt;"> Peon: But what about the man under the tree?</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 1.5pt 0.0001pt 0.75pt; text-indent: -0.75pt;"> Sweeper: Well if he can live for so long another hour isn’t going to kill him! This is a government office after all.</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 1.5pt 0.0001pt 0.75pt; text-indent: -0.75pt;"> Peon: I think you are right. Lunch must be had.</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 1.5pt 0.0001pt 0.75pt; text-indent: -0.75pt;"> JAU: That police inspector was just too much! I’ll come in the evening indeed. Whats the law coming to….</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 1.5pt 0.0001pt 0.75pt; text-indent: -0.75pt;"> SAU: Oh let it pass! Our job is done. Come its time for lunch!</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 1.5pt 0.0001pt 0.75pt; text-indent: -0.75pt;"> JAU: Now that you mention it…..</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 1.5pt 0.0001pt 0.75pt; text-indent: -0.75pt;"> Sec: More sugar my dear?</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 1.5pt 0.0001pt 0.75pt; text-indent: -0.75pt;"> US:No! You’re so sweet! If I take more sugar I might get diabetes…[giggles]</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 1.5pt 0.0001pt 0.75pt; text-indent: -0.75pt;"> Onstage:</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 1.5pt 0.0001pt 0.75pt; text-indent: -0.75pt;"> Man Under the tree: Somebody….please….help……[dies]</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 1.5pt 0.0001pt 0.75pt; text-indent: -0.75pt;"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 1.5pt 0.0001pt 0.75pt; text-indent: -0.75pt;"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 1.5pt 0.0001pt 0.75pt; text-indent: -0.75pt;"> Narrator: Good Evening! The News. In a dastardly terrorist strike on the secretariat this morning, a miscreant brutally murdered a blameless mango tree. However, Justice was served, as the terrorist himself was crushed under the fallen tree.</p>Arjun Venkatramanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05742494509362640981noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12568321.post-78935621613714696612010-01-03T23:26:00.000-08:002010-01-03T23:28:41.493-08:00From Scribbles: Using Your Dad's Tool<p class="MsoNormal" style=""> <span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: Courier New;">“Using your dad’s tool” is a phrase that sounds rather incestuously pornographic, but that’s the phrase that keeps resurfacing in my brain whenever I think about the bunch of kids I meet these days. Let me clarify here. By kids I mean anyone more than two years younger than me. A little more descriptive verbiage here: sheltered, clueless, yuppie, spoilt brats. Nope! I don’t hate 'em. Not in the least bit. However, they belong to a class of people almost completely alien to me, which is surprising, since exactly four years ago, I stood exactly where they are standing now, and I remember myself very differently.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style=""> <span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: Courier New;">Actually come to think of it, I didn’t stand exactly where they are standing. Things were a lot different. “Back in my day” is another phrase one doesn’t really feel comfortable using at 21, but hell, back in my day 21 year olds didn’t seem all that different. They seemed pretty much on the same platform as us guys.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style=""> <span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: Courier New;">The short break that I just took to go to the toilet has shifted my focus a bit. Apologies. I shall return to the kids and us in a moment.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style=""> <span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: Courier New;">There is a story by Isaac Asimov, which describes a world of the future where all calculations are done by machines. Technology has evolved to the point where humans do not need to compute at all. In such a world a man who is able to calculate by hand becomes a novelty. It’s an amazing story. But thinking about it now gives me a slightly different angle on it. Let me expound with an analogy:</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style=""> <span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: Courier New;">There is another story, a well known one, called Jurassic Park, by Michael Crichton. Now this book was not written in the ‘90s. Let us for a moment assume (it’s a far fetched assumption, but bear with me, I shall attempt to elaborate) that Mr. Michael Crichton did not live in present times, but was born as a dinosaur in the Jurassic period. Let us also assume that this twist of fate did not rob him of any of his literary abilities. Let us say he wrote Jurassic Park in the Jurassic period. Now the question I wish to pose is this: What would be the reaction of J. Random Dinosaur be, to this fantastic novel written by the Crichtonosaurus?</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style=""> <span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: Courier New;">I assume it would be something of the order of “Ha Ha! This saurus is brilliant! He actually hypothesizes that dinosaurs will cease to exist in a mere sixty five million years. Where do these author lizards get their ideas from? What imagination!”</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style=""> <span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: Courier New;"> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style=""> <span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: Courier New;">This sounds reasonable when one looks at the reaction of a present day human to Asimov’s story about the calculating man.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style=""> <span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: Courier New;">It is inconceivable to people that what they hold to be basic axioms of existence, will change.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style=""> <span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: Courier New;">This brings me back to the discussion of kids and us.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style=""> <span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: Courier New;">When we were kids (that would be around the time we left home for college), we left home with the knowledge that we were stepping out into the big bad world, where we would be required to perform trapeze acts without a safety net. </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style=""> <span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: Courier New;">Therefore, it became necessary for us to learn, in any way possible, the fundamentals of survival in a big bad world where people get their jollies out of watching other people fall.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style=""> <span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: Courier New;">We knew that if there was real trouble, we might be bailed out, but the price would be steep. And then again there was the drive to prove ourselves. </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style=""> <span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: Courier New;">I shall choose three keywords from this little homily about ‘us’.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style=""> <span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: Courier New;">Fundamentals</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style=""> <span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: Courier New;">Safety net</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style=""> <span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: Courier New;">Drive.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style=""> <span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: Courier New;"> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style=""> <span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: Courier New;">We, since we were learning survival for ourselves, had to work our way up from the basics. Therefore, we naturally attach a lot of importance to fundamentals. Fundamentals, “life ke funde”, the basic truths. </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style=""> <span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: Courier New;">E.g. Rule #1: Don’t get into it if you cannot get out.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style=""> <span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: Courier New;">Rule #2: Cash is always an issue. Don’t believe anyone who says it isn’t.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style=""> <span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: Courier New;">Rule #3: Your best pal is going to be the one to inform your parents about your love life, so if you want to keep it a secret, forget it, it’s impossible.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style=""> <span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: Courier New;">Rule #4: A closed mouth gathers no foot.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style=""> <span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: Courier New;">And so forth. </span> </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style=""> <span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: Courier New;">Kids today have no real need for this sort of rule book. They come from backgrounds which have been created by people who made up these rules, and then provided a cushioned layer on top of them to protect their future generations from the harshness of life. That’s what I mean by “using your dad’s tool”.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style=""> <span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: Courier New;">When we see these children, we see children because we know the underlying realities of life, upon which society stands. We see young people unequipped to handle the world that we handled and (immodestly) conquered.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style=""> <span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: Courier New;">We see kids who don’t know the fundamentals of life.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style=""> <span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: Courier New;">I suppose we must take into account the fact that kids today have a completely different set of basics. We forget that the basics we learnt have formed this new set of basics.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style=""> <span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: Courier New;">I suppose that’s how the concerns of society have evolved from “Where’s my next meal coming from” to “Is 40 GB really enough space for a hard drive?”</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style=""> <span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: Courier New;">Safety nets were something we learnt to do without. Hence our actions were somewhat limited by fear. Those of us who have succeeded and will continue to succeed are the ones who are daring enough to perform crazy stunts despite the lack of a safety net. </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style=""> <span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: Courier New;">Possibly, the generations above us would yell out loud at this heresy. Their justifiable anger would be based on their claim that they did provide us a safety net. </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style=""> <span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: Courier New;">But this stems from the fact that they possibly had even less of one. Again, evolution.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style=""> <span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: Courier New;">What is scary about this evolutionary trend is the visible effect it has on drive.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style=""> <span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: Courier New;">The jump that our parents managed was immense, given the platforms they had. The best of us will just about reach that magnitude of jump with great difficulty. It is a different matter that a jump proportional to the one our parents took would land us in heights which are too dizzying to imagine. </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style=""> <span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: Courier New;">However, it is increasingly obvious that the closer you are to the sky, the more vision you need to realize that there is in fact outer space beyond the blue.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style=""> <span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: Courier New;">I remember having this conversation with my father, before I left home.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style=""> <span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: Courier New;">The topic of discussion was: Why is it that the most successful of people come from the most impoverished backgrounds?</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style=""> <span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: Courier New;">Dad’s theory was that people, who come from poor/uneducated/violent backgrounds, have nowhere else to go but up. This struck me as a very accurate account of things.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style=""> <span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: Courier New;">What one needs to do in order to move up in life is to be dissatisfied with the current state of things. The problem is, the higher you start, the more difficult it is to believe that you can do better.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style=""> <span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: Courier New;"> That’s the ‘trouble’ with modern kids. They have it all. Why would they ever want to do more? I know from personal experience what kind of effort it has taken me to create an atmosphere around me that breeds dissatisfaction. A modern kid living at home would have a hell of a lot of trouble managing the same.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style=""> <span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: Courier New;">What would be interesting to see is the amount of achievement a modern dissatisfied kid could manage.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style=""> <span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: Courier New;">I think I’m going to teach my kids the following:</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style=""> <span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: Courier New;">1) Math</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style=""> <span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: Courier New;">2) English</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style=""> <span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: Courier New;">3) The art of being dissatisfied.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style=""> <span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: Courier New;">I’ll leave the rest to them.</span></p>Arjun Venkatramanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05742494509362640981noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12568321.post-41723741873995516312010-01-03T23:25:00.000-08:002010-01-03T23:26:44.618-08:00From Scribbles: One Sultry Predawn<p class="MsoNormal">So! So you think you can tell</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Heaven from hell?</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Blue skies from pain?</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Can you tell if you’d feel, from the cold steel rain?</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Did they get you trade your heroes for ghosts?</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Hot ashes for trees?</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Hot air for the cool breeze?</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Cold comfort for change?</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Did you exchange a walk on part in the war for a lead role in a cage?</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: right;" align="right"> -Pink Floyd-“Wish you were here”</p> <p class="MsoNormal"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal">Wish you were here!</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Have you ever stood on the edge of a cliff and looked straight down and contemplated not whether to jump, but how best to jump in order to avoid splashes of blood on your clothes?</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Would a gory looking corpse be acceptable to society as the last remains of you?</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Jump I must but I must be neat about it!</p> <p class="MsoNormal">“Oh my gaaawwwd! Splashes???? Of blood???? Eeeuuuu!” and “Can you believe he jumped? I <i>to </i>never thought <i>yaar</i>!”.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">It might be interesting to observe the reaction of various people post your own mortem.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">If there was any proof that such an observation could be made, it might even be worthwhile to kill yourself just for kicks. However, such proof does not exist, and therefore it makes suicide too big a risk. As Kafka puts it, there might just be an exactly similar room outside! What happens if you die and then discover that you’re in a parallel universe exactly similar except that you can’t even die because you are already dead!</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Then what do you do? </p> <p class="MsoNormal">What do you do if you suddenly realize that you exchanged a walk on part in freedom for a lead role in a cage!</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Simple, you don’t do anything, you grin and bear it, and the minute the cage door opens, you sneak out and raise hell.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">And then the shit really hits the fan, cause remember, it’s a lead role! Everyone’s looking.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">That’s when fucked takes on a whole new meaning.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Finis</p>Arjun Venkatramanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05742494509362640981noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12568321.post-81775617942852078532010-01-03T23:23:00.002-08:002010-01-03T23:25:50.966-08:00From Scribbles: Schizophrenia<p class="MsoNormal"><b>Alter 1 :</b> You know you are in deep shit, when the prime decision of the day reduces to whether to use your right or left hand to jerk off. </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.5in;">Therefore I'm in deep shit. There is a certain advantage though to being buried in manure though.</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.5in;">Cut off from the mundane emotional inputs/traumas of day-to-day life, one can delve deep into ones one psyche and find answers to a lot of crap. The amazing discovery of the century has to be that the answers to all the fundamental questions of life can be expressed in one of two choices. The 1/0 principle. Kind of restores your faith in the digital fundas. Guess old whatsizname wasn’t that far of the mark. Disturbing though, that I cannot remember the name. I technically should, considering his discovery is going to pay for my livelihood in a few years. </p> <p class="MsoNormal"> <b>Alter 2</b>: Pissing! </p> <p class="MsoNormal"> <b>Alter 1</b>: I have also come to the conclusion that two people can indeed spend their lives together, but if and only if they are willing to completely stop talking to each other. Don’t raise those eyebrows; I know all the crap about communication and the rest of the bullshit surrounding love and matrimony. The idea is to remove verbal communication. All communication should be physical. Sign language when sex is not feasible. Sex, when possible. Telephones should be used strictly for business. </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.5in;">You see when one is communicating physically, there is much less possibility of mistaking signals and making wrong assumptions. I'm sure god has a reason for not providing most creatures on the planet with the faculty of verbal communication. </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.5in;">Language should be used only for communicating with people you don’t live with. </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.5in;">That way even if you make a mistake in understanding the other guy’s words you don’t have to pay for a lifetime. Actually I correct myself. The physical communication thing should be used only with romantically involved people. Those happen to be the ones who make the maximum stink about misunderstandings. </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.5in;">It may seem impossible to communicate physically at first, but it’s better than having two emotions completely confused solely due to different levels of vocabulary.</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.5in;">If you don’t believe me check out any bunch of stray dogs. The only time they use their mouths to communicate is when they are fighting. Bow wow yelp! </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.5in; text-indent: -0.5in;"><b>Alter 2</b>: But hell people have different physical vocabularies as well. I mean look, some people find sex dirty and some others find it even boring. How do two people on two completely different plateaus communicate then? </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.5in; text-indent: -0.5in;"><b>Alter 1</b>: Hmm! Interesting idea. Guess humanity is fucked then huh?</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.5in; text-indent: -0.5in;"><b>Alter 2</b>: Yeah, guess so.</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.5in; text-indent: -0.5in;"><b>Alter 1</b>: Too bad. You know I don’t really like you Alter 2. You poke too many holes in my theories. Just who the fuck do you think you are?</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.5in; text-indent: -0.5in;"><b>Alter 2</b>: I'm you buddy. We are the two facets of the same coin. </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.5in; text-indent: -0.5in;"><b>Alter 1</b>: Hah! My arse two facets! What coin? You don’t seriously subscribe to the same old crappy ‘each man is a coin’ theory do you?</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.5in; text-indent: -0.5in;"><b>Alter 2</b>: Of course! Don’t you? </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.5in; text-indent: -0.5in;"><b>Alter 1</b>: Certainly not. I'm much more advanced, I believe in the concept of credit cards. Ha ha ha ha!</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.5in; text-indent: -0.5in;"><b>Alter 2</b>: This conversation is degenerating and fast.</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.5in; text-indent: -0.5in;"><b>Alter 1</b>: You noticed? I have a theory about that too.</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.5in; text-indent: -0.5in;"><b>Alter 2</b>: You and your stupid theories. Lets have it then. I don’t suppose you're going to lemme leave without it.</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.5in; text-indent: -0.5in;"><b>Alter 1:</b> You're perceptive I’ll say that for you. Okay the thing is, this conversation is being typed, right? So when the dipshit on the keyboard presses enter, the page goes up and the conversation goes down. Voila! Degeneration!</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.5in; text-indent: -0.5in;"><b>Alter 2</b>: Can I leave now? Please? Pretty please?</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.5in; text-indent: -0.5in;"><b>Alter 1</b>: No one appreciates me! No one loves me! Boo hoo!</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.5in; text-indent: -0.5in;"><b>Alter 2</b>: Look who woke up! You see now that you’ve realized this basic fact perhaps you will be a happier person! You know, knowledge is the root to enlightenment and happiness.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b>Alter 1</b>: Oh yeah? Then how come women aren’t happy? They always know it all!</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b>Alter 2</b>: Simple answer! They only think they know!</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.5in; text-indent: -0.5in;"><b>Alter 1</b>: Whatever! I don’t want to get into a conversation about women right now. They bore me and besides I have a lot of work to get finished. </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.5in; text-indent: -0.5in;"><b>Alter 2</b>: You started it. </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.5in; text-indent: -0.5in;"><b>Alter 1</b>: But I still haven’t solved my basic problem!</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.5in; text-indent: -0.5in;"><b>Alter 2</b>: What’s that?</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.5in; text-indent: -0.5in;"><b>Alter 1</b>: Should I use my left or right hand to jerk off?</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.5in; text-indent: -0.5in;"><b>Alter 2</b>: Bye Bye!</p>Arjun Venkatramanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05742494509362640981noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12568321.post-4216562420491641322010-01-03T23:23:00.001-08:002010-01-03T23:23:32.870-08:00From Scribbles: A Park Bench<p class="MsoNormal">A park bench, behind a stack of pipes, which my girlfriend tells me, are used for phone cables. The smoke from a cigarette, desperately trying to remain coherent and disciplined, but blown every which way by the wind. A cow, mainly black with white patches, or is it mainly white but mostly covered in black? The graying sky, promising rain in a few moments. Large orange flowers, whose name I cannot recall (is it <i>tesu</i>?), some decaying, some waiting to decay, lying around on the ground. Three or four shrines, built by the believers, scattered around in a disorganized manner, around the clearing.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Thoughts, many and incoherent, rushing through my brain, each vying for attention. An urge to write and keep on writing until the rain forces me away. A wish to see things resolved. But desperation as the rain threatens to wipe out, wash away the efforts of a confused mind.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Perhaps it would be wise to keep it away and pray for a dry day when Gods pleasure doesn’t make a mockery of mans desperation.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">‘Tis amazing how a little rain can be such an irritant when one wishes to be a certain way. God smiles, allowing a few more instants of dryness, perhaps telling the foolish mortal that this is not time given to write, but time given to put away pen and paper, gather up belongings and head for cover. But the mortal is adamant. He assumes he is invincible, and so is his ink. He remains where he was, as if daring God to do his worst. Amusing, these mortals. They seem to enjoy being reminded of their inadequacies. A warning gust of wind. For an instant the mortal is afraid. What if people reading this laugh at him. But then, o one asked him to display his writings. But the mortal is vain. He wishes to be applauded. He feels he can take a little rejection. A small risk compared to the glowing feeling of accomplishment he expects when he is rewarded with the accolades of other mortals, all of whom are playing the same foolhardy game of hide and seek with themselves. The flow of writing takes the mortal on and on away from where he started. Into the narrow alleyways of his own mind where he dare not tread for fear of being confronted with a mirror, more clear and honest than any other. The mortal does not fear God for he knows that God is his own creation. But he fears himself because after all God created him. This recursive relationship is confusing. But the mortal believes steadfastly that he knows it all. This supreme confidence, this fantastic disdain is perhaps what makes him mortal. But the mortal does not care. He continues to explore further and further into the reaches of his conscious until with a fatal finality, the phone rings.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">And with that ends another journey with no record left except a few squiggles on a damp piece of paper.</p>Arjun Venkatramanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05742494509362640981noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12568321.post-22756173657118009312008-11-18T01:05:00.000-08:002008-11-18T10:16:30.955-08:00It and IIt is a three year old pissing in fear after getting smacked for the first time. It is a confused six year old trying to make sense of a weaving drunken father. It is a defiant eleven year old venting the frustration of a lost parent on an oil drum in the backyard. It is a spoiled fourteen year old lighting his first cigarette. It is a lying eighteen year old stealing money from his parents. It is a smart twenty one year old paying lip service at his first job.<br /><br />It is a boor with no appreciation for the finer things in life, which it scoffs at by labeling “baubles” for the “spoiled brats” or “veneer” for the “evil”. It hides its fear of being outcast by subtly rubbing everyone’s nose in the dust. It smirks at the failures of others as a justification for its own inadequacies. It shrinks at the thought of an acknowledgment while craving for appreciation. It manipulates and convinces. It charms and it outfoxes. It lives in fear and hates being a coward. It covets. It craves. It holds nothing sacred. It is proud of being emotionless. It completely buys its own illusion of invincibility.<br /><br />It is a parasite that feeds off a host and gives nothing in return.<br /><br />It is a machine. A supremely efficient machine, whose only job is to survive. It is a shrewd and calculating machine, which sees everything as prey or competition. It must either consume off the entities that compose its’ environment or destroy them and eliminate their claim on its’ resources. It feels no love. It has no friends. It survives.<br /><br />I created it. It was my first authentic creation. What a creator am I, that I created this most exquisite piece of machinery that is both self sustaining and life preserving. And so what if I forgot that I created it. And so what if as a result of my forgetting, I spent some time believing that I was trapped by my machinery.<br /><br />I am free now, in this moment. I acknowledge my power to create. As evidence, if needed, I count my machinery, my IT.<br /><br />And in this moment of acknowledgment, I am here.Arjun Venkatramanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05742494509362640981noreply@blogger.com2